Meghan Markle doesn’t know how to open champagne properly – and it’s giving me nightmares

I'm forever fascinated by what people drink on television. I mean, what are the nondescript wines in the tiny bottles on The Traitors? I have a hunch they’re just being served dodgy train-wine-pinot-grigio...

TV and celebrities quaffing booze definitely gets more interesting for me when I know what they’re drinking – and I’ve become something of an expert in working it out. And with Meghan Markle my eagle eye really came in handy.

I can often tell by just the hint of a label what the wine is – and no, while my hidden powers won’t go anywhere towards solving world poverty, it does mean I can tell you exactly what the Duchess of Sussex has been serving up on her divisive new Netflix “lifestyle” series, With Love, Meghan.

Her show, unsurprisingly, is not receiving particularly dazzling critical reviews (that’s putting it politely), and has been lambasted for its twee syrupyness. I get it – it is never going to win awards, but as exports from America go, it’s a lot better than the bilge coming out of the White House, currently.

I couldn’t help but be enamoured by the opening sequence – which featured a beekeeper that reminded me of a cross between Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Yogi Bear (he deserves his own spin-off). And despite what the haters say, it is currently top 10 in 48 countries worldwide...

So, while I’m not here to Meghan bash (though yes, the gloss is definitely a bit OTT – and honestly, I don’t know one person who has the time to do any of the things she does; my child is lucky if he gets a sandwich cut in the shape of a dinosaur, let alone with flowers on top) I do think the debut series should have come with a health warning.

Episode two is a tour de force in how not to open a bottle of champagne! Honestly, I screamed. I wanted to reach into my television, pull the duchess aside and have a vital chat about safety and sparkling wines – before someone loses an eye.

Watching Meghan casually remove the cage and then just potter about the kitchen – having a chat, plating up a frittata – all while she’s essentially stood next to a loaded gun. That cork could’ve exploded out at any point and taken someone out!

Remember, people: if you’re opening champagne, prosecco, cava – or any sparkling wine that has a cage on it – that thing is there for a reason. The pressure inside a champagne bottle is much higher than the air pressure in a car tyre – it can fly out at speeds of up to 60 kilometres per hour. Get the cork out as soon as the cage comes off, please (or, better still, use the cage as a little bit of extra grip to safely open the bottle and enjoy).

When I calmed down enough to bring myself to watch the rest, I have to confess that what I did love was Meghan’s choice of wines.

There was an effortless inclusion of some very tasty drops that to me showed the overall desire for conviviality, connection and warmth. The wine was featured as part of the food she was preparing: it was actually refreshing in our increasingly puritanical world to see wine being enjoyed as a part of life – and not something to be demonised.

I believe Meghan really is a wine lover. She named her staggeringly successful newsletter, The Tig, after her favourite wine, Tignanello. This is one of the OG Italian “Super Tuscans” which dates back to the 1970s (a Super Tuscan is blended using the traditional grape variety of Tuscany sangiovese, with the non-traditional grapes of that region: cabernet sauvignon and cabernet franc), it retails on average for about £180 per bottle. Not a midweek sipper in my house.

The wines in With Love, Meghan are slightly more approachable. I have to say, I love everything she drank (just maybe not the way they were served)...

First up, one of my favourite grand marques champagnes: Taittinger Brut Réserve NV. They are among the limited number of champagne houses that retain family ownership and management under the name that appears on the label. It is a stunning champagne, famed for its elegant style – and it’s a beautiful wine to enjoy with friends. All I would say is that it definitely needs no additions. Meghan, put the peach puree down!

Her choices of rosé were impressive, too – both sparkling and still. They included the consistently excellent Domaine Ott, Billecart-Salmon’s “Le Rosé” NV champagne (that I’ve previously featured in my recommendations, though not with the addition of frozen orange juice) – and the lesser-known (but outstanding) Domaine Tempier from Bandol – an appellation in southern France.

Meghan could have gone for something more well-known, but she selected a wine of great quality which easily trumps any of its flashier counterparts. As she said, a glass while cooking helps her feel a little more “intuitive” – and while she’s not quite Keith Floyd, it’s certainly charming.

Finally, her brunch party – where thankfully bottles were being opened without misadventure. This time, it was bottles of Ruinart Blanc de Blancs – a consistently excellent champagne. If I rocked up to a garden shindig where that was the tipple of choice, I’d be a very happy wine lover indeed.

And so, with series two apparently greenlit, I hope that she has some fun selecting some great wines to accompany her seasonal fare. If you need a consultant, Megs, you know where to find me...

Available widely nationwide including Laithwaites (currently on offer at £34.99, usually £44.99)

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A classic blend of 40 percent chardonnay, 35 percent pinot noir and 25 percent pinot meunier, it has an inviting golden colour, with a fine bead of bubbles. It reminds me of an apricot danish pastry, with a wonderful balance of something a little bit buttery and baked alongside the soft flesh of a ripe apricot. It is delicate and uplifting. Meghan may have made a bellini with it, but this champagne needs no adulteration.

£33 Chesters Wine Merchant

A quiet, unassuming legend in the world of rosé. This isn't an insipid or forgettable wine, it has real depth, elegance and great potential to age. Tempiers are a family-owned estate, largely responsible for establishing the pocket-sized appellation of Bandol. The rosé is packed full of fresh peach and pomegranate juice and enticing herbal notes of the Mediterranean landscape: I’m imagining the scents of walking through a landscape of wild thyme, rosemary and pine trees down to the hidden bays of this quiet corner of the Med. It’s bone dry and with no tannins; a gorgeous blend of mourvedre, grenache and cinsault, it just keeps on giving – I wish I was like Meghan and always had a bottle in my fridge door...

£26.40 Gauntley’s Fine Wines

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Another great example of why Bandol rosés are regarded as the best in the world. Working the land entirely by hand with no herbicides or pesticides, this wine is deeply expressive – think of a nose full of scented roses and fresh squeezes of blood orange, redcurrants and herbal pine sap. I love its bright acidity alongside the depth and concentration of the fruit – Meghan, you should give this one a try, next time.