I had a Valentine’s Day date with my dog – and I’m not the only one

Don’t judge me, but I took my dog out for a Valentine’s Day date. I wanted to honour Muggles, my giant 11-year-old golden retriever, as he’s the one who has been at my side through thick and thin – and I truly love him.

So I took him to the groomer’s, attached a special Valentine’s bow tie to his gender-neutral pink collar, and booked a table at Love My Human Townhouse, a posh dog-friendly cafe in London’s King’s Road (and a regular haunt of James Middleton), where canines are served meals at your table, made with the “highest quality human-grade ingredients”, according to the cafe’s menu – devised by a qualified dog nutritionist, of course.

I knew exactly what my furry friend would want: the dish named “The Dog’s Bollocks” – turkey, rosemary and thyme meatballs on a bed of roasted butternut squash puree with cauliflower and mint, costing £8.50 for a big bowl. And for dessert, a lactose-free puppuccino, aka the “Loaded PupCup”, made with whipped coconut cream and goji berries, brought to the table on a tray with a perfectly round biscuit made of bacon, dried blueberry and coconut. Perhaps he’d even like some dog ice cream?

It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in taking my dog on a date. Half of Gen Z would rather spend Valentine’s Day with their pet than their partner, a recent UK poll found, with a quarter claiming that their animals show them more affection than their significant other.

One in 10 also rate their pet’s manners over their partner’s, according to the 2025 survey carried out by Burns Pet Nutrition, and nearly 50 per cent of this age bracket buy a Valentine’s gift for their pet, with one in 10 spending between £50 and £100.

This year, more than a third of people celebrating Valentine’s Day in the US plan to buy presents for their pets, up from 19 per cent a decade ago, and average spending has more than tripled, according to the National Retail Federation.

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I didn’t go big on gifts, but this meal was a chance for some much-needed Muggles-and-me time. The atmosphere was relaxed, with some light jazz music and rustic Bohemian decor. Our table had a vase of flowers on it. Another woman was on a date at the next table with her chihuahua, who was perched on a chair waiting for a decaffeinated green tea.

I’d pre-ordered myself a Valentine’s Day afternoon tea of finger sandwiches, scones, chocolate brownies and fruit, costing £28, with a pot of tea, so I could join Muggles in a feast. Sick of my protein-rich diet, I ordered some extra jam and cream for the scones. This was, after all, a treat for the both of us.

But as Muggles tried to run down the stairs of the staff entrance to the kitchen, then nabbed a packet of treats off the counter and was too big to get up onto the seat opposite me at the table, I gave up on it all being “perfect”.

Muggles clearly had a wild time, from the way his tail wagged – and the loving looks he gave me. Of course, he couldn’t possibly understand the significance of it being Valentine’s Day, but that didn’t matter. I just wanted him to know how special he is to me.

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I have a very complicated relationship with my dog. My late partner Alex and I got him three days before Alex died out of the blue in 2014. I wasn’t a dog person. We were in the middle of our IVF journey – and I was desperate for a baby.

Alex had been suffering from depression, and we thought Muggles would be a good therapy dog for him. As we went to collect him on that Saturday morning from the breeders in Essex, Alex ran in to grab Muggles like he was a prized possession. Alex’s mood had taken a rapid downturn over the previous few days after a great improvement, so I was hoping that Muggles would help lift his spirits again.

I was wrong. When I returned home from work a few days later, I found Alex dead. He was the love of my life – and it felt like a giant full stop. He’d tragically killed himself, and I was left with a puppy in my arms.

As Muggles hid under the table and the place swarmed with police and paramedics, in my utter grief, Muggles became my support blanket. I carried him everywhere in a bag, and he slept with his head on my pillow, next to me, where Alex would have been.

I went on to have Alex’s two children with his banked frozen sperm via IVF after his death.

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When Lola, now nine, and Liberty, seven, were born in 2016 and 2018, Muggles took a back seat as far as attention is concerned – and still does. That’s why I wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day with him – to show him he still matters.

When I’m upset, it’s Muggles who is my shoulder to cry on, even if it’s into his matted fur. I can look into his big brown eyes, and I know I’m his everything, too.

I’m not alone in loving my dog like crazy. According to new research, one in three neighbourhoods in the UK has more pet dogs than children. Against a declining birth rate, and people delaying parenthood or even boycotting having children altogether, dogs are becoming “surrogate kids”.

We have become a nation of “pet parents” who give our dogs blueberry facials, feed them freshly cooked food, and dress them up in outfits – me included. A study published in the journal Scientific Reports in 2024 revealed that “dog parents”, who make up 54 per cent of dog owners, regard their dog as a pseudo-child with whom they can have a human-like bond.

It’s no surprise, then, that almost half of all dog owners like me would prefer to spend time with their pet than on a date, according to a 2024 survey by the Kennel Club.

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In a dating landscape that is less and less appealing, focusing on a dog at this time of year is more low-key. Valentine’s Day often feels forced and pressured. It can create a trap of financial pressure, overspending, and unrealistic romantic expectations – and it can trigger painful emotions, such as loneliness. Comparing your relationship or single status with other people’s on social media can cause anxiety and low self-esteem.

But “dating” your dog on Valentine’s Day comes with its own set of problems. It’s not necessarily cheap. My total bill came to £46 for the food, plus £110 for Muggles’s grooming. That’s why others opt for alternatives, such as singing their pet a calming song, baking a special dog treat, going for a romantic walk, or even learning a dance move with their dog from the numerous canine freestyle videos on YouTube.

As my “date” progressed, Muggles attacked his puppucino and wouldn’t drop the cup from his mouth. The foam sprayed everywhere, the drink’s beef-flavour powder staining his newly groomed white leg yellow.

Then he collapsed on the floor as if he were half-dead. I know his trick of not moving unless he gets a treat, but other diners looked concerned as I shouted, “Muggles! For God’s sake, just get up!”.

It wasn’t the Valentine’s Day date I’d imagined, coming complete with a major argument and drama. But back home, we cuddled up under a blanket for a cosy, pet-friendly “movie night” with my kids – the perfect end to the day.

I might be barking up the wrong tree by not having a real date with a human, but right now, a date with my dog is all I can handle.

If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch

If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you