‘I’m a working mum – but I still need to use food banks for our Christmas dinner’

I never thought I’d need food banks. I’ve worked full time as a teaching assistant in a primary school for 18 years. I’ve raised four adult children in their twenties and thirties, without ever going on benefits or needing charitable support. Even when my husband and I divorced 15 years ago, and my youngest son was only one, I got by just fine.

But in recent years, things have changed. Everything is more expensive than it used to be. My rent has gone up, all the bills and council tax have gone up, but my salary – around £1,300 a month after taxes – has barely increased. Once my direct debits for the bills and rent come out on the day I get paid, I’m only left with a few hundred pounds for the rest of the month. It’s just not enough.

It wasn’t an easy decision to go to food banks. I went for the first time two years ago. When I got to my local food bank in Peckham, I felt really sad. I was also ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to see me. But when I saw how many people were there, including many working parents like myself, I stopped feeling so shy. There were so many of us, normal people, just trying to make ends meet.

I came home with vegetables, potatoes, chicken, tomatoes – it was everything I’d normally buy, but it saved me money that I can use for something else. I can’t afford the luxuries of eating out and going to the cinema like I used to, and I hardly buy new clothes, but the money I don’t spend on groceries can be used to buy something essential for my 16-year-old son for school, or put aside for emergency expenses.

Food banks have made a big difference to my life these last two years. They’ve become part of my weekly routine and have made a really positive impact on my family. I no longer feel ashamed. Food banks exist for people to use if they’re struggling. And with inflation and constantly rising prices, so many of us are finding it hard that it no longer feels like a stigma.

In the last year, 23 per cent of working parents used a food support service in the past year, according to charity The Felix Project. That figure could mean around 1,725,000 parents nationally are using food banks now.

I’ll be using food banks for our Christmas dinner. I love cooking, it’s my passion. I’ve already been lucky enough to find some turkey slices and mixed vegetables at the food bank last week. I’ve put them in the freezer so I can use them to make our Christmas dinner. A visit to the food banks one last time before Christmas, for potatoes and more vegetables, means I can make turkey, potatoes and all the trimmings.

It has had to be enough for seven – our extended family are coming too – made up with extra bits at the supermarket. We still want our Christmas to be special, and if some bills have been forfeited this month to buy everything we need for our lunch, then so be it. But I also don’t want to be in debt in January, which is why food banks have been such a saviour.

I haven’t bought any presents, though. I stopped quite some time ago because it put more pressure on me. I’ve taught my children it’s not about the giving that counts – it’s about being there for one another. I don’t want my children to feel pressured to buy me gifts either, because I don’t know how they’re doing financially.

It is hard with my youngest son sometimes. He’s a teenager and sometimes wants a new pair of trainers or branded clothing, and sends me a link. I have to tell him I don’t have any money at the moment. It breaks my heart when he says: ‘Why are we poor? Why aren’t we rich?’ Sometimes he gets down, and sometimes I get sad too because I can’t provide for him even though I’m working full time. At times, I’ve pulled out my banking app to show him my balance. He knows I used food banks, but I’ve never asked him how he feels about it. If I’m honest, I think I’m avoiding that discussion. I don’t want him to tell him something that could break my heart.

Things have definitely changed. When he was younger, I could afford to buy him new things, and it was a walk in the park to go to the cinema and go out for dinner. But prices are so much higher, and my salary doesn’t stretch the same way anymore. But I’m still looking forward to Christmas with my family, to be together, because that’s the most important thing.

I try not to worry about prices going up and things getting worse, because I don’t want to worry about unnecessary things. If I have, I have – and if I don’t have, then so be it. I’ve accepted that we don’t do Christmas presents, and I don’t buy myself treats like I used to.

I still try to live my life to the fullest with the salary I have. If I didn’t work, it would be another story. I’m just so glad there are food banks out there to support those who need it.

For more information on food banks, visit The Trussell Trust