Stuck wicket

Death, taxes, rain in November and the collapse of the England batting order. Even those with limited interest in the sport may have gathered that there is a cricket match on. Our commentary consists of a single observation. England do very well until Michael Vaughan is out.

But there is another cricket-related issue that is gripping the nation when the argument over the relative merits of Admiral Nelson and John Lennon palls. Because the Australians keep winning so much, they seem to think that the Ashes, a 10-centimetre trophy of some mild antiquity, should be moved from the MCC to the other side of the world. The Brits devote their ingenuity not to winning cricket matches but to thinking up excuses for why the Ashes should stay here. Too fragile to travel. Vulnerable to changes in temperature. Or were they talking about the England players?