Robin Scott-Elliot: Deadly-dull Test completes bad week for Pakistan on and off the pitch

Last week was a good one for the effigy industry in Pakistan, a business that leaves no stone unburned in an effort to satisfy its clients. It's the small details that impress; the effers, as they are known, managed to produce pictures of the British judge who sent their players to prison so giving their customers a proper choice. Do punters take one Butt and one Asif to torch? Or one Justice Cooke and one Majeed and point the fiery finger of blame at the British authorities?

Footage of burning Butts was a staple of every news report in the wake of the Pakistan players' trial, cut with the moments when Mohammad Asif and Mohammad Amir delivered the no-balls that see them otherwise occupied while their former team-mates get on with the business, as the judge succinctly put it, of playing cricket.

The film of the Lord's Test has become familiar but that last no-ball by Amir, in the middle of a spell that should give Test cricket hope, still has a shocking effect. At the time it so baffled Waqar Younis, then one of the team's coaches, that he confronted Salman Butt afterwards. Waqar has moved into the commentary box and was in Sharjah to watch his former charges interrupt Eurosport's diet of motor sport and tennis from places that may or may not exist.

What had happened in a court in London was the elephant on the Sharjah pitch, a role previously filled by Inzamam. Another of the judge's remarks suggested the damning prospect of the audience not being able to believe what they see when they watch cricket, but the problem in Sharjah was not one of belief. It was boredom.

This is not a good time for Test cricket outside England. Watching on TV a supposedly top-class sporting occasion that nobody has bothered to go to immediately saps it of atmosphere. Without an atmosphere sport suffers, especially on TV. Enduring Pakistan's batsmen crawling along at two runs an over in a near-empty ground is no way to spend a Saturday, especially when you could be outside burning effigies. A fan waved a blow-up Tigger with an enthusiasm that belied the occasion. This was Eeyore cricket.

Misbah-ul-Haq (no relation to Inzy judging on appearances – you could fit seven Mizbahs into the armchair Inzy used to reside in while his team-mates did silly things like train) is Butt's replacement as captain and he takes his responsibilities seriously. He walloped his 53rd ball for four having scored two runs from 52.

Around the world, crowds are scant for Tests and, with pitches like this, those that do come won't be returning in a hurry. Cricket's authorities should be worried. Lasith Malinga doesn't bother with Test cricket any more. He's turning up this week for a one-day series you won't even notice. One of them will also be in Sharjah, a venue linked with wrongdoing ever since internationals were first staged there. Tony Greig harrumphed over Malinga's choice and not without cause. It was a depressing full stop to a deeply depressing week for the sport.

It wasn't a good week for Mark Lawrenson either, judging by his expression as he sat uncomfortably in his chair on the new Match of the Day set (wot no sofa?). Or perhaps he was unsettled by having to occupy a set designed by a four-year-old riding a sugar rush.