England have only one choice after total mental disintegration in Ashes
Comment: England have completely failed in three basic areas during this Ashes, writes Cameron Ponsonby at the SCG, to confirm exactly what must now be done
Sometimes, when trying to save a relationship, your other half can do something particularly horrible that, rather than upsetting you, provides you with peace. Proves that this isn’t working. That you’re not right for each other. And that you should find someone new.
England came home drunk one too many times today. The showing across day three of the final Ashes Test was a perfectly curated charcuterie board of the choicest cuts of nonsense from the last three-and-a-half years. It was quite cute when you asked Will Jacks to bowl spin in Rawalpindi in 2022, but in Sydney in 2026, it made me want to cry.
The morning session was the moment. England’s worst two-and-a-half hours of cricket, either in living memory or since yesterday, I can’t decide.
Four catches went down. Four. Two were fiendishly difficult, one would have been a good catch had it stuck, but the fourth was a shocker. Jacks, in the deep, settled underneath a mistimed pull from Travis Head, and then just as the ball was about to arrive, he checked to see how close he was to the boundary. The ball clattered into his hands and fell to the floor. Funnily enough, it turns out the sound of 50,000 Australians laughing is eerily similar to that of English wheels falling off.
The whole thing continues to bemuse. Jacks is a good fielder. He doesn’t drop simple catches. Nor is Matthew Potts a wayward bowler. And yet the evidence of history continues to dispute the evidence of today.
Potts, who had such a difficult time of it in his first match back yesterday, had his first three balls flayed for four. Soon, when bowling to Head, Potts had three fielders out on the offside boundary. Bowling to be cut, concede one, and have a go at the other end. His 100th run conceded came from a Head six. It was as desperate as it was sad.
Moments of technical aberration led to hours of mental disintegration. England arrived this morning with two reviews remaining, only to burn them both on the nightwatchman Michael Neser before lunch. At the loss of the second one, Ben Stokes threw his hands to his head in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. Only, it was. And it kept happening. Don’t think today provided a glimmer of hope. This was consistency in its purest form: misery.
The framing provided by Rob Key, Brendon McCullum and Stokes in the last week is that English cricket starting afresh after each Ashes series has been proven not to work. Let us learn from our mistakes, and we’ll be the people best placed to take us forward. If you know what the problem is, there’s no problem.
With an unease and a fear of the unknown, it was a sentiment that was gathering pace. Stokes remains the best option for captain, but we’ve spent so much energy on this and McCullum’s payout will be north of a million pounds and we’ve just got the bathroom fitted together. So maybe we can make this work. Key is a good talker. I enjoy his company.
But just because we can handle them at their best doesn’t mean we deserve them at their worst.
The relaxed atmosphere they have cultivated has turned into sloppiness. These things always work in cycles. But an emphasis on wicket-taking has led to a lack of control. The desire to groom Shoaib Bashir has led to Jacob Bethell and Jacks sharing spinning duties. The wish to be attacking with the bat, then reframing mid-series, has led to a halfway house where runs are left on the table.
The execution on the pitch hasn’t been there, and England have also admitted to getting the preparation wrong and the selection. To take a count: execution, preparation, selection. What, exactly, are we holding on for?
When Bazball arrived it was a revelation. The no-consequence, freeing environment they built thrived by lifting the pressure from a generation of players who had been scarred. But the players who have come in since have never carried that burden. The environment freed them from a pressure they had never experienced, until it arrived in spades on the most intense tour of them all. And now they are scarred, bearing those wounds from this trip, this series, and this leadership. Change won’t be for the sake of change.
Crucially, just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t have to mean it failed. Bazball has been a riotous three-and-a-half years. The cricket played has been joyous as often as it has been infuriating. Full throttle, foot to the floor fun. It’s just now that Bethell, Jamie Smith and co are entering their mid-20s, they’re looking for something more serious. It’s all well and good telling people to play their natural game, but what if they don’t know what it is?
The ECB CEO Richard Gould landed in Sydney this week. He has backed this leadership team to the end, but on day three he will have witnessed a performance that spelt it.
It’s time to move on. And to be honest, it’s you, not me.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments
Bookmark popover
Removed from bookmarks