Epstein didn’t hire Sarah Ferguson as his house assistant – this is what would have happened if he had

I have been working with billionaires and ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) individuals as a housekeeper, house manager and nanny for five years, and it is exhausting and often thankless work. So I was surprised to read about the email from Sarah Ferguson to Jeffrey Epstein, practically begging to become his “house assistant”.

She would have had little idea how much work the role actually entails, and, to me, it is an example not only of how wildly desperate and out of touch she was, but also how close she was to the convicted sex offender.

You only have to look at the vacancies pages of exclusive household staff recruitment agencies to understand what this kind of position involves. Sometimes called a household manager or household executive assistant (EA), this person is at the heart of a domestic operation – the eyes and ears of the boss, or “principal”, whenever they cannot be at one of their many homes.

In general, each property has its own household manager or assistant, and they are the head honcho to all other staff. They hold a close and highly trusted relationship with their employer and are expected to know what their principal is thinking before they do. They make pre-emptive decisions involving everything from hiring and firing to budgets, décor, food supplies and party guest lists.

And let’s return to the “eyes and ears” aspect of the job. Every grand house I have worked in has hidden cameras everywhere. Staff warn each other in hushed tones: “Be careful in the bathroom, there’s a camera in the candle,” or “Watch out for the red book in the living room.” In the case of Epstein, if you are wondering how so many high-profile guests were photographed in compromising positions, I would start there.

This tells me that Sarah Ferguson not only thought of herself as capable of handling extremely sensitive information but would also likely have had little problem being privy to a few household secrets.

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In an email dated 16 May 2010, recently released by the US Department of Justice, the former Duchess of York, then 50, was almost begging to work at one of Epstein’s homes. “But why I don’t understand, Don’t you just get me to be your house assistant,” she wrote. “I am the most capable and desperately need the money.” In another email sent just months after Epstein had served 13 months in jail for procuring a child for prostitution in Florida, she pleaded: “Please Jeffrey, think about it.”

This kind of role might pay anywhere between £45,000 and £80,000 in the UK, or up to double that in the Middle East. I imagine Fergie once spent that much on shoes without blinking, so I struggle to understand what made her think she could manage a role where you are up at 7am, on your feet all day, and often do not sit down until 11pm.

In very large houses, the job usually involves telling others what to do rather than doing it yourself – something I am sure she was banking on. But this is an intimate position that is usually earned after years of loyalty, hard graft and long hours in junior roles like housekeeping or butlering.

Like everyone else, I have been reeling from the revelations in the Epstein files. Having worked so closely inside these elite households, I am seeing things in a new and unsettling light. Colleagues have come forward to tell me about their encounters with Epstein’s peers, particularly chefs who worked on superyachts.

Even where no crimes have been committed, these clients often display levels of selfishness and arrogance that would not be tolerated anywhere else. Extreme wealth and privilege can turn people into monsters. They simply do not believe that the rules for “normal” people apply to them.

And when the men are bad, they are truly disgusting. The misogyny among wealthy, older male clients is relentless. In the Epstein files, men repeatedly refer to women as “assets”, “deliveries”, “entertainment” and even “new stock”. Women are treated as logistics, not people. Wives are spoken about as obstacles, described as “boring”, “difficult” and “in the way”.

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I see this mentality constantly. Wives are described as needing to be “managed”. Eyes light up the second a younger woman walks past. Men think nothing of chasing her down for her number – but only if the setting feels “safe”. If she is in Courchevel, Monaco, Vail or Beverly Hills, she is assumed to be in their world already. Either she is wealthy herself, or she is an escort or “ski bunny” who can be hired by the hour.

Many of my older clients have a rule: only date women under 30. After that, they believe women are “past it”. I once worked in a mansion on the French Riviera where a South African banker flirted with me outrageously in front of his wife. He asked for my phone number, claiming it would be “useful for organising the children”. I suggested a WhatsApp group for the household instead. Not my first rodeo.

Later that day, as I prepared snacks for the children while the wife got ready to go out, he stood towering over me and deliberately dropped his phone at my feet. When I picked it up, it was playing hardcore pornography. He wanted to see my reaction. I gave him none and ignored him for the rest of the week. The family never hired me again.

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Of course, not all my clients are awful. I have worked for a few genuinely kind billionaires who pay well, treat staff with respect and offer perks like Christmas bonuses or birthday gifts. But in other cases, I have worked for families for years and they still forget my name. Children point and say “her” and I have been introduced as “Nanny number three” or “Dusty Cleaner”, with no correction from the parents. You are there to keep the children alive, not to teach manners or set boundaries. Anything else is frowned upon.

For billionaire families, their only priority is themselves. If it is pouring with rain and they are late, they will not care if you have no coat or umbrella, as long as they get into their chauffeur-driven car dry.

Working for the ultra-rich usually means no time off while they are in town, no proper meals, never being introduced to guests, and certainly never being asked a single question about yourself. In fact, some would rather you did not speak at all. I once signed a contract stating I should only speak when spoken to.

Yes, there are perks. I have travelled to extraordinary destinations, eaten Michelin-starred food and been given designer clothes. But I would never swap my ordinary life and real friendships for theirs. I have stood in tropical gardens with hummingbirds and on yachts with dolphins leaping alongside, and my employers barely noticed. The super-rich are immune to any pleasure that costs nothing.

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They are also hopeless at dealing with reality. They have £50,000 ovens and endless gadgets, yet cannot operate a toaster or change a lightbulb. A Saudi prince once tipped me £100 for working out how to flip the switch on a mains fuse box. Would Sarah Ferguson know how to do that? I doubt it.

But practicalities aside, I am not surprised Epstein ignored her offer. The ultra-wealthy trust no one. They are obsessed with being stolen from. Many Middle Eastern families carry large amounts of cash. It is common to find £50 notes stuffed into drawers and pockets. Any missing money is immediately blamed on staff.

A friend was once accused of stealing £10,000, only for CCTV to reveal a visiting cousin had taken it. I have been accused of stealing jewellery that later turned up in handbags or drawers. And you will never get an apology.

Rich people are never rich enough. No matter how much they own, someone always has more. Watching how this eats them up makes you grateful for having less. Racism is rife too, especially towards Filipina staff. I have heard employers mock their accents or refuse to let them near children for fear of them picking up “bad English”. One lovely lady brought some beautifully made homemade food for her family – they threw it in the bin the moment she left.

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These are the people who push to the front of queues, demand shops stay open and scream at airline staff for not upgrading them. I once saw a man threaten to remove all his company’s business from an airline because he had to fly economy. The air hostess didn’t bat an eye. She had seen it all before.

They waste money trying to cure their misery. Private doctors, therapists and “wellness” gurus charge hundreds an hour to tell them what most of us already know through common sense. Women are judged almost entirely on appearance. Education and decency come second to pilates, Botox and expensive blow-dries and manicures.

And they speak about divorce the way others speak about insurance. I have heard wealthy wives ask newly divorced friends for lawyer recommendations “just in case”. “I love him now, darling, but you just never know what can happen,” they say.

As many of us are only now finding out with the Epstein files, that can be pretty much anything.

* Written anonymously as the author is still working for a high-net-worth family