Valentine’s Day: What makes a good kiss? Here is the psychology behind it

Scientists have revealed that the quality of a kiss is less about technique and more about the "thoughts, fantasies and emotional context we bring to it".

Researchers at Abertay University challenged the common belief that kissing inherently ignites sexual chemistry, instead investigating the profound impact of cognitive and emotional elements on kissing behaviours.

Their methodology involved an online survey, where participants from the UK and Italy were questioned on their attitudes, experiences, and fantasies concerning intimacy and the act of kissing.

They rated what they considered to be the hallmarks of a good kiss, alongside assessing their own perceived kissing prowess.

The survey also gathered data on the frequency of intimate fantasies and details regarding their sexual desire.

The results showed kissing is “far more than a sensory experience”.

The researchers found people who often daydream about intimacy tend to place more importance on contact and arousal when deciding what makes someone a good kisser.

This pattern held even when the researchers considered factors like creativity and sexual desire.

They said this shows imagination, and not just physical sensation, plays a key role in how we experience affection.

Dr Christopher Watkins, senior lecturer in the department of sociological and psychological sciences at Abertay University, said: “Our findings show that kissing is far more than a sensory experience.

“It’s shaped by the thoughts, fantasies, and emotional context we bring to it.

“Historically, certain strands of research on human sexuality have focused on sensory experiences and how we respond to physical stimulation, but our study highlights how imagination and internal states play an important role in how we interact with a partner when kissing them.

“By examining both the psychological and physical elements, we can better understand why people differ in how they use and appreciate kissing in their relationships, and why a single kiss can feel so meaningful.”

The team said the study’s findings could be developed into a “simple tool” within couples therapy.

Study co-author Milena Rota, who is now a PhD student at the University of Leicester, said: “By showing how fantasy shapes romantic behaviour, our research offers fresh insight into the role played by our thoughts in how we express ourselves in romantic contexts.

“Our research could be developed further as one simple tool within couples therapy, looking at how fantasy could guide behaviours – in this case a romantic kiss – where frequent kissing has previously shown to be related to higher quality romantic relationships.”

The study was published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.