Daughter awarded £1,000 compensation after her mother’s ashes spilled in the post

A woman’s ashes were mistakenly sent via an EU country and arrived with some of the contents spilling out, with her daughter awarded £1,000 in compensation as a result.

In September 2023, the woman, referred to as Mrs R, had taken out a funeral plan with the provider Plan With Grace, paying £1,449 for a direct cremation which was redeemed when her mother Mrs M died in April 2024.

Having been cremated on 10 May, her ashes should have been returned to Mrs R no later than 7 June under the terms of the prepaid plan, but documents show that Plan with Grace did not arrange the transfer until 14 June.

A misunderstanding around Mrs R’s address meant that her mother’s ashes were sent through the Royal Mail via an unnamed EU country, with her daughter receiving a notification on 17 June that a customs fee was due, which she subsequently paid.

Upon arrival however, the ashes had not been “properly packaged” and had not been sent the correct method. A report by the Financial Ombudsman Service said: “Very regrettably, the ashes arrived not fully sealed, having gone via customs in an EU country, where it appears the package was examined by customs officials, but not repackaged securely, leading to some spillage and loss.”

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After Mrs R complained, Plan with Grace initially appeared to acknowledge some responsibility and said it had introduced a new process to @avoid ashes being returned in any other way than a private transfer and to avoid any need for customs to be involved”. They also sent Mrs R flowers, reimbursed the customs fee and offered to send a voucher to apologise.

However, she complained to the ombudsman who upheld the complaint after dinging there were “significant failings” in the return of the ashes. The ombudsman ruled that the decision to send Mrs M’s remains via Royal Mail was an unsuitable method given the weight restriction for human ashes, and said that postage confirmation showed that Plan with Grace had selected “international tracked and signed” as the shipping option.

The investigator also dismissed the funeral provider’s argument that Mrs R was not owed compensation because she could be heard laughing about the incident on a phone call with them. In the call, she can be heard saying “I’m laughing but it’s not funny, you know”.

Ombudsman Jo Chilvers said: “I’m not persuaded this invalidates her testimony regarding the distress and upset she has experienced.” She added the complainant was simply “masking her distress with joviality and humour”.

In awarding compensation, Ms Chilvers said: “In this case, I think PWG’s error has caused substantial distress. Mrs R has explained how the situation has affected her and I accept there is lasting impact, given the significance and sensitivity of receiving her mother’s ashes as she did. This is not a memory that is easily forgotten.

“Mrs R’s described her distress that her mother’s ashes were not treated with dignity and respect.”