Life Support: How to cope with sibling rivalry

Sibling rivalry is nothing new; from the story of Joseph and his brothers to the tale of the Prodigal Son, the Bible is filled with examples of jealous, competitive and downright murderous siblings. However, that spat between Cain and Abel reminds us that, while some degree of rivalry between brothers and sisters is completely natural, it's important not to let it get out of control.

Accept that it's normal

While it is easy to spot favouritism within other families, it is difficult to prevent it within your own. From the golden girl who can do no wrong, to the first-born son who is the apple of his mother's eye, children all over the world are enjoying preferential treatment over their brothers and sisters. This can have long-lasting effects on children's self-esteem, and the relationship they have with their siblings – Monica and Ross in Friends, anyone?

Rise above it

Sibling rivalry has its roots in jealousy. From the initial envy a child feels at having to share their parent's time and attention with a younger brother or sister, to feelings of envy at a sibling's academic achievement or good looks, it all comes down to the green-eyed monster. It is important to remember that you're not in competition with your siblings – you are individuals with unique talents.

Don't assume it will stop with adulthood

Although growing up and moving out usually reduces tension between siblings, there are flashpoints in adulthood when it can resurface. The birth of grandchildren can be testing, as can sharing the burden of caring for ageing parents. While it is easy to regress to childhood roles, remember that you are adults and be honest and open with your siblings about your feelings – your relationship will undoubtedly be stronger for it.