Groomsman praised for refusing to be paired with bridesmaid who ‘ghosted’ him
“You’ve been more than reasonable,” one reader said in response.
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Your support makes all the difference.A man has been praised for refusing to pair up with his sister’s bridesmaid because she had previously “ghosted” him.
In the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A**hole?”, a user who goes by the name u/chabortoo detailed how his sister is getting married this year and that he’s in a “weird situation” because of it. He went on to give some backstory about his sibling and said that he’s going to be a groomsman on her fiancé’s side, since it was important to her sister that he was “included”.
However, he then revealed his disappointment over the nuptials. He explained that, in being paired with a woman in the bridal party to walk into the wedding alongside, he was partnered up with a person he used to date and shared details about how the relationship started and ended.
“So two years ago I met this girl named Tara (26F) on a dating app,” he wrote. “We started talking daily. FaceTimed a lot. Went on dates. We talked for over 3 months. And I felt like it was actually going somewhere. Well, after one of the dates she completely ghosted me. Sent a follow up text but got nothing back. I won’t lie. I was really upset. I even talked to my sister about it.”
He also noted that after he moved away for a job, he came home to discover that his sister and Tara had become close friends so she was now in the upcoming wedding.
The original poster (OP) said he even spoke to his sister about his history with Tara.
“I found out they were friends literally three weeks ago,” he continued. “She never mentioned it to me. I asked if she knew it was the Tara I got ghosted by. And she said Tara had told her. But wanted to keep their conversations private.”
He continued to explain how he received a text from Tara asking about what they were doing for their “entrance dance” at the wedding. He then acknowledged how confused he was by the message, so he decided to ask his sister about it.
“I asked why. I know many of her bridesmaids and she had to pair me with the one who ghosted me? She said she had her reasons. And Tara also asked for me specifically,” he added. “I never responded to Tara and instead went to talk to my sister in person. Got the same answers. And this time she sounded offended??? that I asked for a different person.”
He said that when he told her sister how “uncomfortable” he was to be paired with Tara, he said that he told her to “stop overthinking” and “just do it as her wedding gift”. The brother then explained that he decided not to be a groomsman, which upset his family.
“I told her I’d be stepping down from the wedding party. I’ll just go as a guest. She went apes***. Saying I couldn’t do that. And she wanted me up there,” he continued. “I said fine then switch me to a different girl. She said she wasn’t going to. So I told her I’d be dropping out. My parents are calling me an [a**hole].”
As of 8 September, the Reddit post has more than 19,900 upvotes, with readers praising the man for leaving the wedding party and questioning the bride about why she wouldn’t give her brother a different bridesmaid.
“They might be trying to set you guys back up, but why would you want to when not one person is willing to openly clear the air about what happened?,” one wrote. “Instead they try to force you two together, without explanation, and expect you to put aside your own feelings and self-respect to accommodate this, which is unnecessary in the 1st place.”
“You’ve been more than reasonable. It’s not like you’re insisting that Tara not come to the wedding, or even step down as a bridesmaid, just that you don’t want to be paired with her,” another added.
Other people went on to criticise the poster’s family and Tara, since she allegedly asked to be paired with her the bride’s brother.
“So Tara ghosted you, deliberately sought out your sister, interjected herself into your family, specifically requested to be paired with you at the wedding, and now is making you look like the bad guy for not going along with her delusional matchmaking bulls***?,” one wrote.
“More than likely Tara wasn’t just seeing OP at the time, and things took off with another relationship. That eventually fizzled, and now OP is a fail safe,” another claimed.
The Independent has contacted u/chabortoo for comment.
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