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Experts reveal the unique red flags men and women look for in a partner

Honesty and kindness were the top green flags for both men and women

Aine Fox
Thursday 09 October 2025 19:01 EDT
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New research has highlighted a notable difference in relationship priorities between genders, revealing that women are more deterred by bad manners in a partner, while men place a greater emphasis on physical appearance.

Despite these differences, both men and women universally identified honesty, kindness, and friendship as the top green flags they seek in a romantic connection.

However, the survey of over 2,000 young adults in the UK found that a higher proportion of men considered intelligence and good looks to be crucial qualities.

Conversely, more women cited public or private put-downs and flirtatious behaviour from a partner as significant red flags.

Around 40% of men said intelligence in a partner was a green flag.
Around 40% of men said intelligence in a partner was a green flag. (Getty/iStock)

While almost six in 10 women (57%) said a partner having bad manners was a red flag, this was closer to four in 10 men (43%).

Good looks in a partner were rated very important by 35% of men compared with just 23% of women.

While 40% of men said intelligence in a partner was a green flag, this was 37% for women.

Harry Benson, from Marriage Foundation which commissioned the polling, said: “Some of these findings might seem unsurprising, like the desire for a partner to be kind and honest but others, such as the need for a partner to have good manners, identified by over two-thirds of women and more than half of men, were something of a shock.

“Indeed, some surveys have suggested that traditional manners were seen as old-fashioned, even outdated, but as our data clearly shows, if you want to attract a partner, you had better be kind and watch your Ps and Qs.”

Whitestone Insight surveyed 2,008 UK heterosexual adults aged under 35 in May this year.

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