‘I went on Mounjaro with my husband - this is what happened next’

With just a few days to go before a friend’s wedding this weekend, Amanda* has done some last-minute shopping. “I was planning on wearing a dress with straps,” says the 54-year-old. “But then I realised I’d get so many comments about how much weight I’ve lost that I decided to buy another outfit to cover me up more. No one ever said to me when I was big that I shouldn’t get any bigger. But now I’m back to the weight I was when friends first knew me, it feels as if my weight loss has brought out a competitive streak in some of them. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable.”

Amanda, who lives in London, decided to go on Mounjaro a year ago after weighing herself for the first time in years and realising she was five stone heavier than she had been in her thirties.

“My husband and I love good food, so we’d eat out at least a couple of times a week. My portion sizes were too big, I snacked a lot and also the menopause hit,” she says. “We’d both complained about our weight but had done nothing about it, so when I heard about Mounjaro, I decided to try it.

“It wasn’t just a case of injecting and the weight miraculously falling off. I have had to give up things and be mindful. But it’s completely reset my brain when it comes to food and I eat much more healthily, don’t drink nearly so much alcohol and my sleep has improved. I’m now on a maintenance dose and feel better than I have in years.”

But the Mounjaro effect hasn’t just been physical. Amanda’s husband David* also started the drug soon after she did, and a year on, their marriage is in a better place.

“Doing it together has helped a lot,” says Amanda. “David struggled a bit more than me with minor side effects and worried that we’re becoming boring because we’re no longer the last to leave a party.

“But we still socialise and eat out at restaurants together and I honestly feel like I’m a far calmer and nicer person now. We’re both more confident and complimentary of each other too so our emotional relationship has definitely improved.”

While Amanda told only a few close friends that she was taking Mounjaro, David was more open with male friends.

“They’ve all been really positive about his weight loss,” says Amanda. “But while most of my female friends were really positive at the start, it’s got more complicated as time has gone on. One friend for instance has started constantly asking what size I’m wearing or buying the same new clothes as me and then telling me she doesn’t look good in them.

“I’ve ended up wondering if she was happier when I was the fat friend. Who knew that losing weight could cause such a furore?”

Amanda isn’t alone in experiencing a shift in the long-term emotional dynamics of relationships as she experiences a physical change. And with an estimated 1.5 million people in the UK now taking the new generation of GLP1 drugs, which include Wegovy, Ozempic and Mounjaro, mental health professionals say they are beginning to see the impact in their treatment rooms.

“Weight loss drugs weren’t even a thing a couple of years ago, but I’m seeing them impacting relationships more and more now,” says Dr Linda Papadopoulos, a chartered member of the British Psychological Society.

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“If two siblings have always looked similar and one suddenly loses weight for instance, it can create a new sense of competition. Or, if two friends are trying to lose weight and one is on the drug but the other isn’t, there can be accusations of ‘cheating’ to reach a lower weight.

“It’s a whole new area and I think we’ll be seeing more and more of this moving into the future because these drugs seem set to become so widely used.”

Secrecy, driven by stigma around the new generation GLP1 drugs and complex attitudes to weight, self-control and the “right” route to weight loss, is another potential cause of conflict.

On internet forums including Mumsnet and Reddit, multiple threads are devoted to discussions between “secret jabbers” who say judgment from spouses, friends or colleagues is their main reason for concealing their use of medication.

Repeated threads deal with how to hide drugs like Mounjaro, which comes in a pen that needs to be kept cool. One user advised building a “fortress of cheese blocks” at the back of the fridge, another hides the pen in a spare drinks fridge and injects themselves in the garage. One even told a curious husband that the family cat had developed diabetes and needed new medication.

Forty-year-old Bethany* is among the spouses who’ve decided to conceal their use of Mounjaro from their partner.

“I’ve got some face masks that I keep in the fridge, which I know my husband would never look at, so I hide the pen in there,” she says. “I know it’s terrible, but he’d go on and on if he knew about big pharma just selling a drug you constantly need to buy as a moneymaking thing.

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“But for me, it has meant finally taking control of my weight, which had been out of control all my life after trying everything from diet to exercise.

“And while I worried a bit at the beginning about my husband finding out and seeing it as a betrayal of trust, I’m pretty sure now that ultimately he’d let it go. We have a good relationship and I now feel very confident it was the right decision for me.”

Bethany started the drug a year ago and, conscious about not losing weight too quickly, took the lowest dose of Mounjaro before upping it slightly and dropping back to a maintenance dose. She has lost 1.5 stone in a few months.

“My husband definitely noticed that I was eating less and losing weight, but put it down to healthier lifestyle choices,” she says. “He likes that I’ve lost weight and our sex life has definitely improved because I feel more confident.

“My mum knows I’m on it and thinks it’s terrible I haven’t told my husband. But what he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him.”

There’s no doubt that the fallout of using GLP1 drugs can be complex, says Dr Rose Aghdami, a chartered psychologist and resilience specialist. “The initial phase can often have a mostly positive impact on relationships,” she says. “The couple re-experiences interest in each other and they both enjoy the resulting closeness.

“Or the partner who has recently started having the jabs often feels a renewed zest for life, they start new hobbies and activities, socialise more, and this can result in more shared enjoyment for the couple. But over time, the negative impact of weight loss jabs can certainly take its toll on relationships.

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“Food for instance is often important in relationships and can be a way of showing love to each other as well as building up a store of shared special experiences, so the loss of these can lead to upset, arguments, and feelings of guilt.

“Or the now slimmer partner may attract – and perhaps enjoy – increased interest and attention from others and this can evoke insecurities and jealousy within the couple. Doubt and trust issues can emerge, which can be very difficult to live with, for both partners.”

So, how do those taking the drugs navigate the new landscape that GLP1s have created?

“Any medication can have emotional as well as physical impact,’ says Ammanda Major, clinical quality director, Relate at Family Action. “We get into habits in long-term relationships, so anything that transforms them is going to have a knock-on effect because things don’t exist in vacuums and how we look and our weight are intimately attached to how we see ourselves, and how others see us too.

“But what we do know is that key to any life change – whether it’s a job move or weight loss – is about communication and explaining how you’re both feeling. That’s the key.”

*Names have been changed

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