The Weekly Muse

In the robes of Sussex downlands

As the oak leaves edged to brown

With the sky like a melted Mivvi

And the sun for a rusted crown

Some sheep were bedding down.

The sheep shop-steward grimaced

And read the news report

"It's BSE they reckon

Or something of that sort

It may not hog the headlines

Like Clinton being caught

Or Man Utd's purchase

By Murdoch's World of Sport

Now feted as "Gold Trafford"

Whatever that may mean

Perhaps it's time that football

Returned to village green

Where business cannot harm it

And saggy-faced old gits

Can't quarter it like fudge-cake

Then sell the fans the bits."

Meanwhile at the White House

The President contrite

Apologised to the camera

And turned to say goodnight

His dog jumped up to greet him

And licked his master's cheek

Then gestured at his kennel

"You're in with me this week."

So education standards

Have rapidly declined

With early adolescents

About two years behind

It's surely not related

If one and one make two,

To endless new assessments

Which teachers must go through

Or bullying by Ofsted

The consequent depression

And haemorrhage of talent

Deserting the profession?

"Source of Nazi Gold Found"

The latest information...

Curious. I thought it was

A cable TV station.

A test-tube baby clinic

Now offers what you need

Ten grand to make you pregnant

Or cash back guaranteed

And if this seems expensive

Or ethically unreal

Just call in at my garret

I've got a better deal.